The choice

This weekend, over my cup of tea, I recalled my day and the past years. And only one line resonated in my mind - 

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.” -Robert Frost

 

The question then was, did I enjoy this road, which I took and is less travelled by?

And I realized that it is not about the road that you take, it is almost always about the choice that you make at a particular moment when you have to take a decision. 

And as Robert Frost says, “Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.” Back to the same moment to change the choice made, I did pick the road that was less travelled “not because it was just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim, and not because it was grassy and wanted wear.”

I, however, deeply feel that choices should never be regretted, and there shouldn’t be an element of “sigh,” “somewhere ages and ages hence”.

Because the truth is that life goes on!

And it doesn’t stop, even if you want to re-make the choices you didn’t make, to re-live the moments that you cherished and spend more time with your loved ones, whom you lost to time. But it always enables you to make choices to keep going on.

Noise.

Stop the construction
My ears hurt from constant noise
I need some silence.

Choosing to be a Mother

Women in any relationship are owed respect, love and kindness but a Mother… she deserves an ovation. 

A mother holds on to her baby from the time she conceives it and nurtures and values it until her last breath. I always used to wonder how my mother ends up sharing the last bite of a meal with me or wakes up at late hours to complete my projects. Now I know. Now I understand – I was her project. 
Women balance a lot to become mothers. That role seems difficult for me to understand. It is just like tiny pieces of your heart and soul roaming around, in this mean hostile world. Hence your attention is definitely towards them. The next moment however, at work, there is some deadline and you need to prioritize that too. 

What you weigh as more important is the core distinction that differentiates a woman from a mother. 

A mother breathes in air and breathes out love for her kids. I now know, why mothers are so different from women in any other relationship. The reason is – Mothers can’t be selfish. She was not made to be self-centered in this relationship; she was made to let a new entity feel welcome, important and comfortable in this world. 

They say, “Take life slow, Sadaf!”, but being on the brink of change, I find it hard to set priorities right; when a part of my soul is moving around and needs me and the other part of the person I am is calling me for duty. I hold great respect for the mothers who have devoted themselves to love their kids beyond words can ever describe because now I see how it feels to choose change. 

The Crack

On a trip to a faraway land, I slipped and cracked my nose. The crack was deep, it was sore and red. It healed and left a scar. The scar was red and bright. Now there is a thin line, that is just a reminder of the trip to the faraway land.

Life is such a ride too. Sometimes a few roads are smooth to walk on and they give us the happy memories. Sometimes they are rough and end up being a learning experience.

This crack taught me so much. It taught me to bear the pain of a fresh wound. It taught me that whatever situation we are in, in spite of all the pain, it would pass away. The scar remains, as a reminder of the moment that I survived to thank my Creator for the rest of my life for that moment that He saved me. I have found my answer to this crack. As is said, every crack leads the way for the Light to enter. Maybe that was my moment.

What is life?

What would it mean to live life without you? 
How would every day be so meaningful?
Who would take interest in my work?
Who would listen to me with all the attention and hold me so dear?
Can there be anyone in this world other than parents who can love you with their heart and soul?

No.

The answer is a plain - no.

No one but you, Daddy

The day I saw the world, I was looking out for you, Daddy.

When you hold me in your arms, I feel so safe, Daddy.

Every time I heard anyone be loud or rude to me, I used to run to you, Daddy.

There were nightmares and I found it hard to sleep, I used to dig into your arms to feel safe, Daddy.

When I used to throw tantrums, I knew only you would bear with me, for those days, sorry, Daddy.

The day I left home to see the world right into its eye, I realized immediately, there is no one more caring but you, Daddy.

I tried to be strong and stand firm, but found myself hurt, tired and wear down, then I remembered you, Daddy.

You always knew what I would want and gave me everything on time, how did you manage that, Daddy?

You never wanted me to repeat your mistakes and you tried your best to instill your experience in me, however I did as per my whims and whenever I was in trouble, I called for you, Daddy.

Inspite of being angry on my mistakes you always came to my rescue, dear Daddy.

When I knew that no one will ever understand me, I knew who will, and it was you, Daddy.

I was a wanderer and explorer and wanted to fly, and who gave me wings? It was you, Daddy.

When I do anything in life and want someone to be proud of me, be it only one person who thinks I am right, it is only you, Daddy.

When I think of home, it is the home that you have given me, Daddy. 

A Brilliant Companionship

The thought of "being in love" was much more beautiful to her than love itself. Because, her thoughts could be fed as much as her soul wanted it to grow. But a Profound, deep and a selfless love that she always dreamt about and which she rarely found was because people including herself were at most times blinded by the desires which fade the colour of love before it has completely blended and settled.

“Love has to make you feel free,” she thought.

And then, when she found Love, she was completely submerged in it and she knew that the companionship set forth by this love is because her soul was at peace and she felt powered to the extent that no negativity could ever touch it. There was a change in her that all that she could see, smell, hear and touch was purity. There was complete brilliance set forth by it.

It drove her towards gratification of her companion.

But there was still no point of admitting that to her companion because, the feelings held by those thoughts would lose their value once they were put to words.

So all she could do was to "be in love."